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Set
yourself a goal. Decide what you want: a replacement item, your money back, compensation for
the damage that was done. A successful complaint is one that achieves
your goal. |
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Don’t go in
with something vague. Rude sales assistants and delays on the telephone
are annoying, but they're not complaints that can be rectified in any meaningful manner.
If there's no tangible loss, it’s not worth
making a fuss. |
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With
a strong case, however, you should drag everything in to support it. Use the rudeness of the
sales assistant and the lateness of the delivery to show that the organisation is failing in
all departments. The
more muck you fling, the more they have to scrape off. |
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It’s easier
to get something out of a large organisation than a small one. Big
companies have more to lose from bad publicity, the person you are
dealing with doesn’t have a personal stake in its success, and he or
she will have several layers of management to whom you can appeal if you’re
not getting what you want.
In a small organisation your complaint goes straight to the
decision-makers. They can afford to be obstinate and won’t budge if
they think you’re trying it on. I know, I’ve banned more than one
hopeful complainant from ever visiting our premises again! |
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Don’t waste
your time asking for an apology. If you’re not going to get some
financial reward for your effort, there’s no point writing. Mowing the
lawn is more productive and just as soothing. |
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Gather all
the evidence before you start. Read the documents again to make sure
your case is sound. If you have a crucial document that the opposition
aren’t aware of, it might be useful to keep it quiet for a while. That
way you can demolish their arguments by producing the unexpected
document at a later date. |
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Keep a
detailed record
of every conversation (names, dates, times) and copies of every
document. |
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Complaining
is a game. The opposition want to get you off their backs
as soon as possible and at minimum cost. They’ll downplay the problem,
soothe you with soft words, express gratitude for drawing the matter to
their attention…and offer very little.
You'll have to use a few tricks of your own.
Twisting the opposition’s words around, distorting their meaning,
exaggerating their shortcomings, playing one person off against another;
they’re all legitimate tactics. |
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If the issue
is a simple one, you should first try to fix it by phone. Move on
to writing as soon as it’s apparent that things are not going your
way. |
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Once in the
correspondence phase, you should be wary of resolving matters over the
phone. Customer service staff are skilled at being nice. They go on
training courses in niceness, and are far better at it than you are.
Before you know what’s hit you, you’ll have fallen for a compromise. |
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When you put
your points in writing, make them clear and unambiguous. Use bullet
points if you want to ensure that every one is answered. Throw as many questions at them as you can. Expect one or
two to be missed which gives you an excuse to write again. |
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Contrary to the normal rule, brevity is less important with complaints.
Long-windedness – but not vagueness or ambiguity – can work in your
favour. There's more chance that they'll overlook something in a longer letter.
You're the customer: if you write six pages, they have to read six pages. |
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And
if you write, the opposition have to write back. You’ll find it easier to
argue against a point that has been put in writing, than against one
that’s been given over the phone.
Letters sent to complainants are invariably non-contentious and
formulaic tranquilisers. The words "bland" and
"patronising" can always be used to describe
the limp manner in which they have responded to your complaint. |
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Never
threaten to sue or to stir up bad publicity. It’s clear to everyone
that you can do either, or both, of these things whenever you want.
The reality is that you will do neither. Resorting to the law is
expensive and uncertain, while the press are unlikely to be interested.
And be careful: the media are a risky and uncontrollable tool for
exacting revenge on an enemy.
The most likely outcome of your threat is that you will back down. |
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Don’t let
your anger get the better of you. Make your letters firm without being
aggressive. Above all, avoid abuse. It might feel good, but it devalues
your case. |
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Keep to the
facts. You’ll be caught out if you invent anything. Lying will completely undermine your
position and – dare I say it – it’s also
wrong. |
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Writing
directly to CEOs and MDs usually gets a result. They never reply of course,
but your letter will have been read by the MD’s PA. When an anodyne reply comes from the customer services
department you go straight back to the MD’s office. Tell them that the
response that was sent out on their behalf was unworthy of them: it
failed to address the issues and the compensation offered was derisory.
Second time around, a message will go down the line that they don’t
expect to hear from you again. CEOs do not like complainants on
their doorstep. |
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Challenge the
reply if it’s not the one you want. Pull the correspondence apart,
point out the contradictions and flaws in their argument. Twist it
around and contrive to feel more aggrieved at each successive attempt to mollify you. Highlight the typographical and grammatical errors. Make it
clear that their attempts to appease are only serving to make
things worse. |
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Keep the
pressure up. The longer you keep the argument going, the greater the
opportunity for the opposition to tie themselves in knots, contradict
each other, or just look plain silly. When you deal with several people
in an organisation, there’s a good chance they’re not all singing
from same hymn sheet. |
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Be prepared
to pull out if you’re getting nowhere. You win some, you lose some.
Move on. |
